her words

When you try your best

2012-02-09T11:40:00.005+08:00

WEEK 5 of school already. Time really flies. And once again, I regret not starting my studying scheme earlier. Always comes to a stage where you regret not working hard enough. Especially when all the due dates are practically next to each other.

Been under so much emotional and mental stress. I mean it's not like I'm going to cut myself or jump, but it's still a lot of stress. It's hard to survive in school and in this world. Just hurts.

Just wished that everything would be alright again, that tears won't flow and hearts won't break. Not every problem has a solution though - which is what is scary. Knowing what the problem is yet being unable to do anything about it and just forced to watch the consequences unfold and what you love slip through your fingers no matter how desperately you grasp at it. Hurts.

Why is everybody so serious?

2012-01-22T16:48:00.003+08:00

The first three weeks of the new year has flown past and tmr, it's Chinese New Year!! i.e. another shot at redemption if you have already failed to live up to your resolutions for the past 20 odd days. So, the first two weeks of school have come and gone as well and the important dates are more or less over once CNY is over. Been to Xq' comm's parade and ball, Emix concert, and collecting ang paos tmr.

What can I say. I'm so glad and feel very blessed that my dance friends are still willing to accept me as a part of their group and respect my choice between the two events. Well, even if they talked behind my back I wouldn't know but they are really nice and sweet still:) I'm thankful to God for this journey. I do think that this was all laid out already, not having as many items as I had hoped so that the eventual backing out wouldn't be as tough. Thank God.

School has been tough. I had a tough time going to school even though it was just the first two weeks of the semester. Crying at night, needing qi to convince me to go to school or some sort of reward system. It's really tough being at a place where you don't know what to do. It's like a waste of time really. But enough of the emoing for tmr is CNY and all the bad luck and thoughts shld be swept away now.

Hopefully with a busier schedule, things will take my mind of the emptiness. Or more angpaos have the same effect too. Hhahah! Alright, here are some photos from the parade and ball just to reminisce. Presenting 2LT Loy Xingqi!:DDDDD So proud of you baby for having come so far! And so proud of us too!!:D Love you!!

2012-01-11T00:10:00.003+08:00

Today, I failed my driving test again. For the second time. I am sad, it does trouble me but i'll get over it because 1) I'm meant to be driven around, 2) It's not my livelihood, 3) I can always take it again. Yes, shush, I'm trying to comfort myself here *pats own head*.

So, school has started and it's.. bad. 2 days into school only and I'm stressed and crying already. I just went for my first Man Comm class today and the teacher was like "None of you are year 1s here right?" To top it off, everyone there is so coherent when they're speaking and super confident. I'm so effing screwed. Screwed I tell you. And the bell curve is going to be within the class because my prof only has one class. Oh my tian. Why. I'm seriously considering dropping this class.

I'm too competitive for my own good. It's been stressing me out and I wish there was an off button for that (being competitive). I don't wish to think the worst in people, their words or actions. I'm stuck. I DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOLLL *bawls eyes out*

Tmr got TWC. I will get through this week. I WILL I WILL I WILL.
Don't give up!!!!!!